Big Girls Don't Cry
by hear.you.hear.me
Summary: Bella Swan has a problem. Full summary inside. and seriously, NO REVIEWS NO UPDATES! There's a part in there, that doesn't contribute to the story. i sortof got carried away. its in chap 3. Sorry. R & R yo!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: only one for story!!

*me- finally my dreams are coming true! I in fact own twilight!

*edward- no you do not! *snarls*

*me- okay okay, but I do own-

*edward- you don't own me either!!

*me- I was gunna say my ideas. *sulks*

*edward- well yes, yes you do.

Summary: Bella Swan has a problem. She recently lost her mom and is being sent to live with her dad, Charlie, in dreary forks. The only thing she is happy about moving for is to get away from Jacob, her abusive, now ex, boyfriend. The only thing keeping her from going insane is her uncontrollable self-harming. Can anybody save her before it's too late?

BPOV

I still remember it like it was yesterday. The worst day of my life. My name is Isabelle Swan and this is my downfall.

_Flashback_

"_mom, I'm home!" I called when I entered my home._

"_Mom?" I called again. That's when I smelt it. The rust and salty smell of blood. I ran to my moms room. I found a note she had written,_

_Bella,_

_Sweetheart I am so sorry. I know this is going to hurt, but I can't do this anymore. I love you to death, but I don't want to be here anymore. This is NOT your fault, but I- I'm sorry I couldn't love you longer._

_Love always,_

_Mom_

_I ran to her bathroom only to find her lying there with a blood covered floor, and a gun by the shower. I called 911, by that time I was having an anxiety attack. I dropped the phone after I mad the call. I yelled at her lifeless body;_

"_mom why?! I know I'm not a perfect kid, but why did you have to go.?!.!?"_

_Soon the ambulance had arrived and my world went black._

The weeks passed by, eventually months passed quicker. Getting to know my dad was a bit awkward. But we've managed. My dad thinks im fine but I have been living on total lie. I've become anorexic, and have resulted to cutting as my releases. My dad and I never talk much so he doesn't really notice anything. My day started off as usual, I got up after a sleepless night, took a shower and my daily ritual. One cut every morning, and night.

"Hey dad." I called walking down the stairs.

"hey bells. I'm off to work!" he replied.

"okay love you."

"love you too."

Of course I didn't eat. I just grabbed my bag and headed to school.

I pulled into Forks High, and parked into my usual spot.

As I walked to my classes I could hear the whispers, they were usually about me but today was different.

_Did you see the new kids?_

_Yeah man, I heard another one got here yesterday. Did you see him?_

The whispers continued. I didn't knw a new kid came yesterday. I guess I didn't notice. I walked into my first class, and the new kid from yesterday strolled by but he stopped by my desk. He handed me a slip of paper, I opened it after he had sat down.

_The names Zack, meet me in the parking lot at lunch!_

Okayy I thought to myself. My morning classes passed in a blur, finally luch had come. I went to the parking lot just for something to do. Zach saw me and came over.

"hey sweet thing. I now in fact own you." He said.

"umm. No infact you don't. who the hell are you? You don't even know me." I replied to his statement.

After I had said that. I didn't know my life would change forever…

**A/N: SO what do you guys think? Sorry it was so short. But hey I'm trying! Ideas would be helpful, and I need a beta. So feel free to review. I'll update as much as I can. Plus reviews are very helpful for more chapters. Honestly im thinking this story will be great. So as nice as I am here's a sneak peek for the next chapter.**

**Chapter two:**

"**honestly! I didn't mean it. I'm s-sorry!!"**

"**You ungrateful bitch!" I finaly realized who zach was.**

"**you thought you could run from me forever, well guess what, your precious mum, didn't kill herself!"**

"**Jacob." Was all I said before the darkness claimed me yet again.**

**Review??**


	2. Chapter 2

Bella POV

Zach must have thought it was funny. He turned right around and slapped me. I didn't know my life would change forever. He always looked so familiar. He argues with me about every little thing.

The next day at school, I heard kids talking and whispering about the new kids.

_The bronze haired kid is so hot!-Lauren_

_I know, have you seen the pixie like girl- Jessica_

_Chyeah! I would so tap that :]-Mike _

My first two classes passed in blurs. It was lunch time. So Zach- wince- and I headed to the cafeteria.

I was barley listening to everybody's conversations. All of a sudden Zach spoke up, "So, Bella. What are you doing tonite?" he asked.

"Umm nothing?" was my brilliant answer, it came out more like a question than a statement.

"okay." Was the end of our conversation.

Biology came around, and one of the new kids was in my class.

The teacher finally introduced him. "Class, this is Edward Cullen. You may take your seat beside Ms. Swan." And that was that.

He took out a piece of paper, scribbled something down and slid it my way.

_Hi, I'm Edward Cullen_

I wrote back quickly.

_I know. I'm Bella._

I think I saw a flash of hurt run through his eyes. He left me alone. After class, he caught up to me.

"So, tell me about yourself." He started.

"I'm Bella, and there is nothing you need to know!" I answered quickly. I hated being mean to people. I just couldn't let Zach see me talking to anybody. He would go crazy! I sure as hell did not want that.

"i-I'm sorry for bothering you then." He said, and turned quickly, and stalked off.

Ugh can this day get any worse?

I finally got home. Charlie wasn't there, normally he was, but sometimes he had to work late so I wasn't worried about it.

I went to my room and glanced at the clock, it was just 4:30. I fell on my bed, and when I woke, I realized it was 5. A 30 minute nap, might actually do some good. I went downstairs only to see that I was alone. I didn't mine the being alone part, it was just Charlie was suppose to be home. I started making dinner for Charlie, and there was a knock at the door.

I looked out only to see it was Marc from my dad's police house.

"Hey Marc. What brings you around?" I said.

"umm Bella, I'm afraid I have some bad news." My heart literally dropped into the pit of my stomach. My questions all came out like a freight train.

"what happened? Where's my dad? Is he alright?" I replied.

"Bella. Your dad was called to a job this morning, and it didn't in so well. There was a robbery this morning at the Newton's Sports Gear store, and your dad came in at the wrong time. He was shot. I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do, let me know." First my mom, now my dad. I fell to the ground sobbing endlessly. I didn't know what I'm suppose to do. I had to figure out where I'd live, and everything like that.

"Did my dad say where I'm suppose to go? Who am I suppose to be staying with?" I really had to know.

"He mentioned you had a boyfriend. He suggested you stay there." OH my lord. Never in my life have I hated Charlie as much as I do now. He mite be dead! But screw him!

"Oh. Um, okay. How long do I have till I have to move in with him?" I replied.

"Till tomorrow, you are still only 17, underage, so you have to go. I'm so sorry for your loss Bella. Really. If you need anything , just call, ok?"

"ok." I mumbled.

I spent half the night packing. After Marc left, I called Zach. Of course he agreed. I went to bed around 2:30. I was tired as hell.

The next day at school passed in a blur. I didn't even go to the cafeteria to eat. I just wasn't hungry.

In Biology Edward noticed something was wrong.

"Hey I know we didn't get off to a good start yesterday, but I just wanted to know if you are ok?" he asked. He sounded like he actually cared. But I really can't let him get close. To hell with it. I need somebody to talk to.

"No, I'm not alright. My dad was killed yesterday." I answered in a hushed tone.

By then I was crying uncontrollably Edward asked if we could be excused.

"Of course" Mr. Banner had said.

We were sitting out in the courtyard, and I was almost done crying into Edward's chest.

"I-I'm so sorry. You don't need to be here. Just go back to class I'll be fine." I stated.

"Isabella- he started to say,

"Bella" I quickly interjected.

"Bella," he started again, " I do not care when, but you can always talk to me ok?"

"thank you so-" I started but I was quickly frightened when the sound of my name was being yelled.

"Bella! What the F*** do you think you are doing?" it was Zach.

"Nothing Zach" I mumbled quickly.

"come on!" he started yanking me away.

I figured he would have said something about earlier on the way to my house, or rather my old house, but he didn't.

"Get your stuff quickly." Was all he said. He didn't even offer to help. _Jackass.. _

I managed to get all my stuff, and we headed to his place.

When we got all my things in, he demanded, yeah DEMANDED, me to sit.

"Now are you going to tell me about school, or would you rather keep you boyfriend a secret!? You cheating BITCH!"

""honestly! I didn't mean anything! I'm s-sorry!!"

"You ungrateful bitch!" I finally realized who Zach was.

"you thought you could run from me forever, well guess what, your precious mum, didn't kill herself!"

"Jacob." Was all I said before the darkness claimed me yet again.

A/N: seriously, **reviews=chapters :]**

thanks to SweetxxCaroline and Team-Vampire-45 for reviewing and getting this chapter up!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own twilight. Enjoy!

I was floating. I saw a light in the distance. All I could think about was Zach- well I should say Jacob.

Jacob was the ex I really wanted to get away from in Phoenix. He was abusive, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You name it, he did it. I still remember the day I finally told my mom what was going on.

_Flashback:_

_I walked in the house to see my mom standing there._

"_We need to talk." Was all she said. I thought I had did something wrong but I just let her talk._

"_Bells sweetie, you've changed so much, you just aren't yourself anymore. I need to know what's wrong. Is it Jacob?" _

_I broke down. I hate keeping things away from my mom._

"_Mom, he hits me, yells at me, and everything. I just want to get away from him mom, you have to help me." I showed her the bruises. She started to cry muttering things like, she's my baby, how could I have not known._

"_Mom, there's no way you could have known I was trying to hide this from you and I'm sorry. I should have told you but I was scared,." _

_When we finished talking she called my dad and told him I would be coming to live with him. I wanted to get away from Jacob but I didn't want to leave my mom. _

So there. The next day is when I found my mom. I hate myself because I feel like this is all my fault. But anyway.

I hear somebody calling me. He sounded like an angel.

Wait- that's Edward. I wanted to wake up so badly, but I just didn't have the strength. All of a sudden, I was jolted awake. I heard the beeping of machines. Great, a hospital. I hate them so much. I tried to sit up, but I failed miserably.

"Sleep Bella." Edward said. So I did.

I woke up to find Jacob sitting by my bed.

"I told the doctors you fell down the stairs, if you tell, you ARE dead. Okay?"

"Yeah you fucking bastard! I should tell them. I fucking hate you! Why the hell are you here?"

I could see him shaking with anger. I don't know what gave me the confidence boost. But I kept going.

"You know what I don't want to hear it. Just leave me the hell alone."

"you little bitch! Just wait till you get out of here." Well, that knocked me down a bit. So I just kept my mouth shut till he left. After I was sure he was gone, I sobbed silently to myself. Edward walked in.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, just please leave me alone." I said. I just wanted to be by myself. He didn't leave.

"I can't to that Bella. I may not know you that well, but I care about you."

"I don't give a damn! I just want to be alone, now get the hell out!"

I saw hurt flash through his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him, but with Jacob, he'll kill Edward before he kills me. With that he left.

I finally got out of the hospital, back to school tomorrow. I dreaded to see Jacob. But sooner or later it would happen. I didn't have my dad anymore, so I'm living with Jacob. The day I got home, he put my things in his room. We barely talked for the hour that he was there.

"So, I'm going out drinking tonight with Tyler..." Jacob said offhandedly, slumping down in the sofa next to me.

"Cool." Was my genius response.

And that was our conversation for the night.

"OK, I'll speak to you later," I quickly said goodbye to my mom, as Jacob marched into the room looking sullen.

"Who were you talking to?" He immediately demanded.

"My mom..." I replied, confused that he had jumped to _that _conclusion.

He pushed past me and pressed the re-dial button on the telephone. It went to my mom's home number and she immediately picked up.

"Yes?"

There was a silence.

"Hello? Is someone there?"

She waited for another short moment before sighing and hanging up.

I grinned smugly back at Jacob, who grunted before turning and going to the kitchen to grab some booze.

"Bells, are you coming up?" Jacob asked tiredly, as he stood towering over the sofa down towards me.

"In a minute," I replied, trying to prolong the moment until I had to go up and sleep with him.

"Bells," Jacob warned, turning suddenly dark as he leaned a little closer to me - his drunken breath could mix with mine. "Are you coming up?"

"I said in a minute," I retaliated, getting annoyed.

"Bells, are you coming up _now_?" He leaned even closer, so our lips were touching.

"No."

He bit the side of my mouth, and I jumped from the shock. With his spare hand, it clamped around the back of my neck so he could pull me closer.

He put his mouth to the side of my ear, "Are you coming up now?"

I wanted to test him to his limits... show him that I wasn't just going to let him screw my life over. Even if I knew I would get hurt.

"No."

His hand slammed into the side of my cheek, pressing against my bruise that he had caused from our last encounter.

He pressed his cheek against mine, his nails digging into the side of my neck. "Would you like to re-think your answer?"

"No."

"Don't push me Bells,"

I didn't answer.

His left hand clamped around my arm, dragging my body to him. He was gripping so hard that the blood stopped being able to reach my finger tips, and I groaned, pressing my lips together to try and stop myself from making a noise.

Then, as suddenly as he had done it, he let go of my arm, and I screamed a little louder as blood started pumping back into my fingers.

"Bells?"

"No."

He kicked out at my bad ankle, and it crumpled beneath me.

I slumped against the floor, cradling my foot to my chest as pain shot through every muscle in my body.

He knelt beside my head as I lay, panting hard against the wooden floor.

"Bells?"

"Yes," I replied weakly - resigning. "I'm coming up now."

Jacob had already left. I had been left clear instructions,

I had been left clear instructions.

1. I wasn't allowed to go out.

2. I wasn't allowed to use his home phone or my mobile to contact _anyone_.

3. I couldn't cook myself a meal.

4. I was to clean the house whilst he was out.

_Complete bull._

In hell was I going to listen to him! His personal slave... was that his idea of a joke?

Well it sucked... badly.

I took a deep but shaky breath, letting it fill my battered lungs. The violence had gotten worse - as I had predicted - throughout the week, and every time I put up some resistance, it would force him to use the only means he knew to win.

There was bound to come a point when I cracked, and when he really had pushed me to the limits.

I had nobody to talk to. So I was here. By myself. And that was my Sunday.

Monday came, and so did Biology.

Edward must have seen I was upset, he asked what was wrong, so I gave him a simple answer.

"Everything." And with that, I broke down in class.

Me and Edward were excused.

We talked for a while.

He pulled a tissue out of his pocket, along with a piece of paper.

"My number, just incase."

"Thanks. For everything."

What I didn't know was that number, would soon be my lifeline.

The lifeline to my savior.


	4. I Would Understand

**AN: so so sorry for the long wait. I got grounded. :[ but anyway thanks for stayin with me and ON WITH THE STORY!!**

_RECAP: _Me and Edward were excused.

We talked for a while.

He pulled a tissue out of his pocket, along with a piece of paper.

"My number, just incase."

"Thanks. For everything."

What I didn't know was that number, would soon be my lifeline.

The lifeline to my savior.

I told Edward about the violence. He insisted we tell somebody, his dad the doctor.

"Bella, you can't keep living like this. You know there is always a place for you at my home. You know my dad will do anything to help. You know my family loves you, they will do anything to help you too. I don't like to see you hurt. Bells, you have to believe me. You can trust me." I hated to hurt him, but I just couldn't let anybody in right now. Just not yet.

"Edward, I wouldn't want to be a burden. I know you all care, it's just, I care about you all so much I would hate to see you all get hurt because of me. It would hurt so much to see what I would cause. Surly you understand. Please Edward. You have to." I saw the hurt flash through his eyes. It made me feel horrible. All of a sudden my phone began to ring.

Jacob popped up on the ID.

Before I could even say hello he began with

"Isabella Marie Swan, just what the hell do you think you are doing?? I heard you had to leave class, you better not be with that boy, I swear to all that is holy, you'd wish you would have never been born. GET YOUR ASS HOME RIGHT NOW!!" I quickly stood and realized that we had been gone for about 2 hours. I told Edward I had to go. I could tell he didn't want me to go, but I hoped he understood. I had to. So I walked home in the pouring rain.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Before I could close the door, I was hit with something verryyy hard. Then I realized it was a frying pan. I mean come on, a pan? I was so tired of his shit, so I had a sudden boost of confidence.

"What the hell!! Jacob god damn I am so tired of your shit! Why me? HUH?! Just answer that simple question!"

Instead of a reply I got hit again, but not as hard. I quickly grabbed my phone and ran out. I dialed Edwards number.

"Bella! What's wrong?!" he answered.

"I'm sorry I can't take this anymore. I have to end it all. I'm sorry we didn't get the chance to be together. Edward from the first time I laid eyes on you I loved you. I'm sorry."

"Bella, where are you at?!"

"I'm far away from Jacob. That's all that matters. I have to go. I love you."

"I know where you are just please don't do anything. And Bella, I love you too."

And with that he hung up.

I was standing on the ledge of the cliff, ready to jump, till I heard a soft velvet voice begin to sing guitar in hand also.

_( JUMPER__THIRD EYE BLIND)_

_I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in  
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand  
I would understand,_

_Well everyone I know has got a reason  
To say put the past away  
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend  
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in  
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand  
I would understand,_

_And i, I want you to know  
Everyones got to face down the demons  
Maybe today  
You could put the past away…_

i began to cry. I didn't want to leave Edward, but I hate the life I am living. He came over and hugged me, I sobbed violently into his shirt.

He began singing another one of my favorite songs:

_(YOUR GARDIAN ANGEL___RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS)_

_When I see your smile  
Tears roll down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one_

I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

This time, I began to shake, I know he cares so much about me, I don't want to end it all, I could just hold on a little bit longer. Just for Edward.

"Come on, let's go to my house." I was too tired to protest. So I just nodded.

When we got there, Edward just put me in his bed to sleep. I overheard talking, Edward and his dad were talking about me.

"Dad, what else can we do? She won't let me help. I just don't know. We need to report it."

"Son, I have already made a report. When she "left" Jacob's yesterday, police were watching. They were going to arrest him. But he got away. I'm sorry Edward."

I heard Edward break something. Then he came in. I "woke" up so we could talk.

"Bella, did you hear any of that?"

I nodded. Then like the emotional wreck I am, I began to cry, hard.

"Bella, we are going to get him. I promise. For now you are staying here. Ok?"

I agreed.

"I am going to take you to Jacobs - he said through clenched teeth - to get you some clothes ok?"

"ok" I squeaked out.

The ride was quiet, when we got there, it was quiet. Edward came in with me. I went to Jacobs room to get my things, and Edward stayed downstairs to make sure nobody came around.

When I was almost done packing, I was hit yet again with something hard. Before the darkness could claim me once again, I saw a smirk on Jacobs face, as I fell to the ground.


End file.
